JANUARY 23 — It started with an unexpected WhatsApp text message from a colleague. She thanked me for the time I spent talking with her the other day, saying it meant a lot to her.
I was puzzled at first because, as I recalled, I hadn’t said much during our conversation.
She had been sharing about her child’s struggles with mental health—how she discovered the condition, the ongoing treatment, and the family’s journey of adapting to having someone unwell yet seemingly normal.
I remembered mostly nodding along as she spoke, offering a single remark: “Well, we all need to learn something new every day.”
She smiled at that, but I hadn’t thought much of it at the time.
It wasn’t until her text arrived that I realised the profound impact of simply being present and truly listening. It reminded me just how rare and valuable this act has become in today’s noisy, fast-paced world.
True listening—without judgement or distraction—is an art we are rapidly losing in an age of non-stop notification pings and endless scrolling.
Listening, not just with our ears but with our full attention and empathy, has become an increasingly rare art.
We live at a time where noise often drowns out meaningful dialogue, leaving us disconnected despite being more “connected” than ever.
Epictetus, the ancient Stoic philosopher, once said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Yet, how often do we actually follow this wisdom? For many of us, conversations have become a little game of waiting for our turn to speak, rather than an opportunity to understand another person.
Listening—true, undivided listening—requires patience, humility, and the willingness to set aside our own thoughts and agendas, if only for a moment.
The noise of the modern world isn’t just literal. It’s also metaphorical: the endless chatter of social media, the curated perfection of Instagram posts, the constant updates from newsfeeds and search results.
All these elements compete for our attention, training us to prioritise surface-level interactions over deep, meaningful exchanges.
Even in moments of silence, we’re often preoccupied—mentally drafting a reply or checking our phones.
This lack of focus is not just a social problem but a deeply personal one.
When we fail to listen, we miss out on the richness of human connection.
We lose the chance to understand someone else’s world, their struggles, and their joys.
We lose the opportunity to grow, both as individuals and as a society.
One of my all-time favourite, Mitch Albom’s 1997 memoir “Tuesdays with Morrie” truly highlights the power of listening.
In the book, Albom reconnects with his former professor, Morrie Schwartz, who was dying from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS).
Their weekly conversations (yes, on Tuesdays) become a crash course in life’s deepest lessons, with Albom doing most of the listening as Morrie shares his take on life, death and regret; drawn from years of experience and reflection.
Albom’s willingness to truly listen transforms their relationship, turning each conversation into a space for healing and growth.
It’s a reminder that listening is not a passive act; it is an active choice. It requires us to slow down, putting aside distractions, and giving someone the gift of our full attention.
Listening also aligns with the Stoic principle of the dichotomy of control: the idea that we can only control our actions, not the actions or opinions of others.
When we listen—truly listen—we are practicing this principle. We focus on what is within our control: our attention, our empathy, our willingness to understand.
We let go of what we cannot control: whether others agree with us, whether they validate our views, or whether they respond in kind.
By embracing this mindset, we can approach conversations with openness and curiosity, rather than defensiveness or judgement. We can listen not to argue or to win, but to learn and connect.
And in doing so, we often find that others feel more seen and heard, which brings out deeper trust and mutual respect.
So how can we reclaim the art of listening in our noisy world? Start small, and start simply. Spend say, one day a week consciously listening more than you speak; perhaps starting with those closest to you.
When someone talks to you, resist the urge to interrupt or formulate your response mid-sentence.
Put away your phone when talking to others. Consciously make eye contact while having a conversation.
Ask questions that show you’re genuinely engaged. And most importantly, listen with the intention to understand, not just to reply.
You might be surprised by what you discover, or the effect of your active listening had on the other person.
You might gain a new perspective that changes the way you see the world. Or you might simply feel the quiet satisfaction that comes from giving someone your undivided attention—a rare and precious gift in today’s fast-paced world.
Let us all rediscover the art of listening. One conversation at a time.
* Nahrizul Adib Kadri is an associate professor of biomedical engineering and the Principal of Ibnu Sina Residential College, Universiti Malaya. He may be reached at [email protected]
** This is the personal opinion of the writer and does not necessarily represent the views of Malay Mail.
