The following is an account by one woman who shared her efforts to get pregnant so that others in her position may learn from it.
Details have been changed to respect her privacy.
Sheila and her husband Mazlan (not their real names) dated for two years before getting married. Sheila was in my early 20s when they met, and planned to get married when Mazlan got a better job with more stability and better income.
Sheila, on the other hand, went back to university to complete her degree, and a year after graduating, the couple bought a house and the next year had their Adat Bertunang (engagement).
They got married three months later and planned to start trying for a baby after their honeymoon.
“I was 24; my husband is a few years older,” said Sheila. “I was tracking my ovulation based on instructions from my doctor. We tried diligently for three months, then I started tracking my temperature and using ovulation predictor kits but still no baby.”
She then started supplements and a variety of additional vitamins. After about nine months, she went to her doctor who assured her that it can take up to a year for some couples, which is completely normal.
“My doctor referred us to a fertility clinic and I had my first appointment 13 months after our marriage. When I found out that we might not be able to conceive, I was devastated.
“Carrying a child, being a mother, was the only thing in life that I had been certain of. As a child, I always dreamed that I would have two children by the time I was 25 years old.”
The couple tried Clomid medication for three cycles. Sheila’s hormones and all other markers seemed great. No major issues seemed present with Mazlan’s specimens either. Unexplained infertility was the diagnosis.
Then, they moved onto injectable medication and Sheila’s body didn’t respond as well to this as it had to Clomid. IVF was the next option.
“It also provided the most info, which was helpful. It was after my first IVF cycle that evidence came to light to suggest that there may be some concerns with my eggs,” said Sheila.
Sheila tried to stay positive and keep hope alive, but she would inevitably get signs that her period was coming and then it arrived. It was a constant up and down with every new cycle.
“In my experience, all treatments need you to put in the work. There is the hope and promise that the treatment brings. The treatment process itself includes going for blood work and ultrasounds and juggling that with your work schedule; taking the medications as prescribed and the resultant hormonal changes,” she said.
The last stage for the couple was when they were about to start their final round of IVF.
If it turned out to be unsuccessful, it would conclude the couple’s treatment as Sheila found that coping with infertility proved to be a great strain on her mental health.
According to her, it “consumes you and feels like it’s always at the back of your mind”.
It put a great strain on the couple’s marriage too. Though Mazlan made peace with the fact that the couple may not be parents, the reality was even more difficult for Sheila to swallow.
“My husband was supportive, but I wasn’t sure how much more of this pressure our marriage can withstand. I regularly engage in self-reflection and try to understand my attachment to being a mother.
“I’m sure I’ve been influenced by societal norms. I also feel that I’m so driven and stubborn in most areas of my life that I just can’t let this go until I have exhausted all options. I feel so attached to the idea of loving and nurturing a little human of my own through life.”
Fortunately, things took a positive turn when the results came out that showed Sheila was pregnant with a baby girl.
“With tears of joy streaming down my face, I looked at Mazlan. ‘Puteri’ he said, cool as a cucumber. ‘We’ll call her Puteri’.”
TELEME Healing Life Stories is a collection of inspirational stories of how ordinary people triumph over their health conditions and recover to lead a healthier life after that. Feel free to email [email protected] to share your story.
